A Dog's Checklist

The trials and tribulations of a woman are no different that those of humanity as a whole. What differentiates this unique phase of life is our mode of travel during our journey travels, which are assigned to every living human being. You may choose to fly through your life lessons, or take the scenic route; but you still must travel or your maturity, testimony, and experience will falter, and various life test will recur in that particular area over and over again until you face your fears and failures honestly and prayerfully. Somehow, women tend to feel at times their situations are isolated at best. Even the scriptures declare in 1 Corinthians 10:13, there is NO temptation uncommon to man. Paraphrasing; "whatever you are being faced with now; someone else has overcome, or will be faced with the same dilemma you are experiencing." Much like a hurricane; the varying categories are determined by the onset and other factors, but again; it’s still a hurricane. As heartbreak is heartbreak; the sickening feeling in your spirit is no different from your female counterpart. But, considering how you choose to face your dilemma will be the varying factor.



My journey entails the same traumas most women have gone through or may go through; concerning relationships. The man, the location, the first date etc, may differ but love lost; is love lost, infidelity is cheating, and domestic violence is a cowards approach to insecurities. So why do we feel like the lone ranger when we are faced with the inevitable? Somehow in the back of 65% of the women mind’s I’ve encountered are; we knew before the 2nd date that this; “new love,” would hit major speed bumps. But, women are such nurturing creatures; we always feel we can nurse a two legged dog back to moral health. In essence we are competing against those many women before us who failed miserably. We ultimately are oblivious to those countless red flags; warning violently even, not to pursue or allow this repeat offender the time of day.



I’ve compiled a few checklist items that may serve as a guide or a pre-screening questionnaire.



1. Check with mutual friends concerning his past relationships. Get a factual account of what type person he is, etc.
2. Question his views on failed or past relationships.
3. Inquire about children and the current relationship he has with the mother or mothers
4. Investigate if he’s married (mandatory)
5. Note the times he calls, or if you’re able to contact him at those “married” hours.
6. Be open about your views concerning monogamous relationships.
7. Don’t compromise! If he is in transition or between relationships; list the ground rules. (Most cases there is an “ex.” Either they have moved on or they haven’t)
8. Try not to pry, but express your concerns about being victimized by the stigma most black men have. (If he in turn is offended; “move on,” at best, he should understand and assure you that he is different and terminate your apprehensions or fears.)
9. Note the behaviors and attitudes of his immediate friends or male family members. (This sometimes becomes the epitome of weak men.)
10. Lastly, be prepared to be scrutinized in the same capacity you’ve issued.

Though this synopsis is my personal reflection and experience; I stand as one of countless women who strongly agree with and have utilized their own checklist to not become a recurring victim of two legged dogs.