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The Wait

Humanity is one the most ridiculed species in the universe. Our existence entails various circumstances, situations, arrivals, departures and humanity within itself; a series of waiting processes.

We wait to be born, we wait to die. But within the waiting process of birth and expiration of life; we live. We live to wait. When I served in the U.S.M.C., a coined expression that any "jarhead" will attest to is; "Hurry and Wait." Hilarious!

Within my own affairs; I've waited to start school; couldn't wait to graduate. I waited for my ASVAB scores; couldn't wait to get the hell out of the Corp. I waited patiently to get married; didn't wait for the honeymoon before I was filing for a divorce. Presently as most will attest to; I couldn't wait to meet the love of my life; I did and we are still awaiting God's direction for our lives. We plan to succeed, and though our venture has a few twist and turns, we continue to trust God.

To wait on God; Hope. To step out of God's will; Spiritual ignorance. I will attest to the fact the most women are anxious for love, and at times we pursue relationships that leave us heartbroken and bitter. Had we waited on God, we would reduce our track record, and better yet; our baby daddy's. Hey let's keep it real. But, even in patiently waiting and believing God's will to be in play; sometimes things just don't work out; Kudos to experience.

We all have our various whims and experimental trials of love, but we all have the God given right to; keep it moving. I think Gucci Mane said it better; "girls are like buses, miss one next fifteen another one coming." Well, so is life. You miss this opportunity; another will soon come. You fail at this right turn, you have a option to make a left or a u turn. But, God's sake don't give up.

Recently we had a major change in plans that proved fruitful in the latter. But through the whole ordeal of investigating various obstacles and emotions; God proved Supreme. God will allow those times that we become transparent and have to face our demons. The true test comes when you are faced with; "can we get through this?" Yes you can. However if you can't, pray about it and possibly seek other avenues, or just; "get off at the next stop."

"My Love'" is the most logical, yet spiritual person I know, and will weigh several options if need be before actually pursuing a venture within his/our journey. This is a commendable attribute. I must admit sometimes we think we have it all figured out, plans are set and God will allow an occurrence to not necessarily change the course, but offer alternatives and options that will prove fruitful if we meditate/pray about His divine will.

God has a permissive will and a divine will. The case with Abram and Sarai (Abraham & Sarah) Ismael through the handmaiden; Hagar was God's permissive will (Genesis 15-18). But the promise was with Sarah conceiving Issac (God's divine will), Abraham seed according to the covenant God made.

Oftentimes we rush for the permissive will and other look or even deny God's divine will; i.e. giving up not realizing had we "waited," we would've proved successful.

Are you are waiting at the bus stop of life? Here are a few pointers that may prove fruitful.

1) Be on time (even if the bus takes a detour; it's usually with a reasonable time parameter)
2) Have a schedule (remember most buses run for all day and half the night)
3) Have the right change (be it a change of heart, change of perception)
4) Know where to get off! (self explanatory)
5) KNOW WHERE YOU GOING!

So, my friends; Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Stay blessed,
Ti Mae (inspirations from - "Inspired Love Loyalty and Friendship" - Jelaco)

Thanks; Giving

My first inclination was to write a piece concerning the fall outs, the fall backs, and the fallen; concerning relationships..yada yada yada. But honestly folks; relationships are a bit overrated. The divorce rate is at an all time high, but everybody's getting married. The reasoning behind the madness concerns me.

Unfortunately during the holiday season most couples try and tough it out; only to find out they really can't stand each other after money is spent on worthless gifts, and promises are still left in file thirteen. What used to be adorable is now incorrigible, and you simply detest this, that, or the other.

My question is; why does it take a holiday to encourage or discourage emotional bliss or blunder? Tomorrow, today, or last week is Thanksgiving, (depending on when you view this blog), and most families are preparing to feast on delicious homemade recipes. Vittles are, depending on your preparation, done and ready for loving consumption. The stomach is willing, but your flesh is still hungry for the inevitable; Thanks Giving.

We thank God for food, holidays, bonuses, our children...yada..yada...yada, but we still harbor the most disgusting feelings towards each other. It's no wonder families are irreversibly broken due to striving to accomplish; a dream. Tell a dream as a dream; until you can interpret the vision God has predestined, even the American dream becomes obsolete and oblivious at best.

I've deterred from the emotionalism that escalates the dramatics on "hold-the-day." I need resolution this year, I needed the fake smiles during dinner to diminish, the endless waiting on phone calls to terminate and better still the perpetual lies to cease.

I resolved last year not to go another year preparing to entertain a "day." I choose to celebrate my life everyday, and relish those special moments with family and friends. The holiday is just another reason to get together; outside of the occasional to weekly or monthly phone calls to check in on a love one, or friend.

I refuse to ever accept the unacceptable. I will love unconditionally, but this does not mean I have to tolerate what no longer benefits me emotionally, spiritually or better yet financially. Why be broke and unhappy. The economy is what it is...but somehow we still manage. Our forefathers have seen worse, and they still, by faith, made it through. We have to rely on faith that those individuals that we've tolerated for so long will make it as well. God is God all by himself; He doesn't need our help.

As the end of this year comes to a close; contemplate where you are personally. Don't allow the holidays to hold you hostage to a situation that will be worse starting out your new year. Make amends, or come to a concluded end; no sequels.

Thanks for Giving yourself a chance; for a change.

Stay blessed...Thankful and Giving every day of the Year

You; God's Blueprint

One of the most profound lyrics I heard this week; came in the voice of Steve Arrington- (Nobody can be you, but you). In the song, the writer coined the hook with such revelation, I had no other choice but to write my personal sentiments, in hopes that a heart might become enlightened or strengthened.

The song itself was one of my all time favorites back in the day, but better still because, I'm a firm believer in; "staying real, being who you are, take off the mask," kinda rhetoric. When I try and become what people want to be, or a trendy persona which will fade out, or who I assume a person wants me to be; I fail miserably. God designed me from specified blueprints, which entail my name and my journey. I can not travel your road, nor abide within your blueprint, nor you mine.

We all have a divine purpose; as to evolve into God's purposed believer. When we adjust our blueprint, or try and renovate without God's divine will, we manipulate our journey. It's like running a marathon and having a friend pick you up, so you can get to the finish line before every other participant. Or better still, changing running shoes, which may not be regulation running shoes, and etc.

The point stands to reason; are you who God intended you to evolve into? Or better still, are you trying to become what you suppose your significant other will appreciate or a friend will chill with? Your course at this point; is under construction. We wonder around aimlessly trying to find purpose in our lives. We try running buddies, new concepts, new loves, and nothing quite satisfies our race, until we finally resort to running our own course, as God designed it. The book of 1 Corinthians and Hebrews speak on this wise; (1 Co. 9:24) we run to obtain a prize, but yet still in another place, (Heb. 12:1) he spoke of laying aside every weight which so easily beset us.

We run spiritual races, we run career races, family races, etc., but until we come back to the original course (or track) which God designed we will prolong the journey of reaching divine success.

I've pondered my race, and I've set out to regain God's course. I am who I am; no one can change it.
Find your course in life; and run it. Pace yourself; forsake the anxious spirit. No one can run my race for me, and until I learn the above principles; I will never be chosen as a relay runner.

Then and only then can we successfully pursue our separate journey's. God has provided us "help mates," but, there still stands the question of; " how can two walk together accept they agree".....but that's another subject.

Stay blessed,
Ty May (Precious)

Just A Thought: Live and Learn

Just A Thought: Live and Learn

A Dog's Checklist

The trials and tribulations of a woman are no different that those of humanity as a whole. What differentiates this unique phase of life is our mode of travel during our journey travels, which are assigned to every living human being. You may choose to fly through your life lessons, or take the scenic route; but you still must travel or your maturity, testimony, and experience will falter, and various life test will recur in that particular area over and over again until you face your fears and failures honestly and prayerfully. Somehow, women tend to feel at times their situations are isolated at best. Even the scriptures declare in 1 Corinthians 10:13, there is NO temptation uncommon to man. Paraphrasing; "whatever you are being faced with now; someone else has overcome, or will be faced with the same dilemma you are experiencing." Much like a hurricane; the varying categories are determined by the onset and other factors, but again; it’s still a hurricane. As heartbreak is heartbreak; the sickening feeling in your spirit is no different from your female counterpart. But, considering how you choose to face your dilemma will be the varying factor.



My journey entails the same traumas most women have gone through or may go through; concerning relationships. The man, the location, the first date etc, may differ but love lost; is love lost, infidelity is cheating, and domestic violence is a cowards approach to insecurities. So why do we feel like the lone ranger when we are faced with the inevitable? Somehow in the back of 65% of the women mind’s I’ve encountered are; we knew before the 2nd date that this; “new love,” would hit major speed bumps. But, women are such nurturing creatures; we always feel we can nurse a two legged dog back to moral health. In essence we are competing against those many women before us who failed miserably. We ultimately are oblivious to those countless red flags; warning violently even, not to pursue or allow this repeat offender the time of day.



I’ve compiled a few checklist items that may serve as a guide or a pre-screening questionnaire.



1. Check with mutual friends concerning his past relationships. Get a factual account of what type person he is, etc.
2. Question his views on failed or past relationships.
3. Inquire about children and the current relationship he has with the mother or mothers
4. Investigate if he’s married (mandatory)
5. Note the times he calls, or if you’re able to contact him at those “married” hours.
6. Be open about your views concerning monogamous relationships.
7. Don’t compromise! If he is in transition or between relationships; list the ground rules. (Most cases there is an “ex.” Either they have moved on or they haven’t)
8. Try not to pry, but express your concerns about being victimized by the stigma most black men have. (If he in turn is offended; “move on,” at best, he should understand and assure you that he is different and terminate your apprehensions or fears.)
9. Note the behaviors and attitudes of his immediate friends or male family members. (This sometimes becomes the epitome of weak men.)
10. Lastly, be prepared to be scrutinized in the same capacity you’ve issued.

Though this synopsis is my personal reflection and experience; I stand as one of countless women who strongly agree with and have utilized their own checklist to not become a recurring victim of two legged dogs.

Mother's Day...Just another day?

May 12, 2009 - Tuesday

When Mother's Day becomes just another day
Current mood: breezy
Category: Romance and Relationships

I thought it best to wait and post this particular blog until well after Mother's Day. The sentiments I express in this particular piece may serve to unsettle some complacent attitudes towards what Motherhood actually entails. A Mother is a gift, and unfortunately not always appreciated. If we sit and wait for children, be it adolescent, teenager or young adult to fall over themselves giving their undying gratitude and affection for our undying devotion, then I say "Child Boo." A child's cognitive abilities and emotional growth spurts are better served learning life, and are constantly in the developmental stages. So bashing one's head against the wall wondering why; "my children don't appreciate me", or even yet thank you is to say the least, "a waste of precious time." If the truth be told they are gifts from God, and their primary focus should be to appreciate God. You as the parent, in this case the Mom, are His servant, and your gratitude should be to Him. And, trust me Sista He gives you the gift of life in an outside of the womb.

To those parents who choose to adopt; KUDOS to you, you are God-Sends. But if you choose to tell your child that they are adopted then that decision lays solely with your household. It's not just a child's right to know, but moreso, his/her choice to ask. Please be wise in how you answer. Sometimes telling an adopted child to early on in life their complete biological background might just leave "your" child emotional scarred to soon. There is no way to avoid emotional scarring, but know that time does heal all wounds, especially if you've chosen a spiritual approach and resolution.

To those adopted children, well every situation is unique. All adopted children will experience a sense of loss, whether they meet their biological sibling or parent later in life or never have any knowledge of ever finding or meeting their predecessors, the loss of growing up contrary to the bulk of societal norms can be a challenge. Trust me adopted children whether they grow up in a functional or dysfunctional home, they all have a small to large degree of actually feeling as though "something is missing."

And finally to those parents that choose to give their children up for adoption, well if this is the only avenue for your child to live a life you feel you cannot attend to either at the time of your decision or even now, then at least you chose the best decision for the child. There are too many biological parent(s) that choose death or life, so stop kicking yourself (just in case you are) over an intelligent adult decision.

Why such a blog? Why not? Mother's Day is a day of celebration, but it very well should be a day of celebration every day that Elohim (God) allows you to wake up to the reality that you brought forth life....do the best you can to maintain life. Everyday you should thank God for the gift of Motherhood, whether it's a good day, or a bad day, you were handpicked by God to raise HIS children. There are some who cannot conceive children, or they have lost their parental rights. So Happy Mother's Day everyday that God chooses to grace the earth with your presence.